Spiralling
by castlenova
Summary: Based on the previews of Kill Shot. Beckett is spiralling out of control. Caskett. Rated T to be safe for some suggestiveness but it's probably not as obvious as it is to me.


_So, I just recently came across this series during the summer and have managed to catch up on the whole series and now I'm really hooked! I wrote this after I saw the previews for tomorrow night's episode. It's my first Castle fic so please, be gentle with it! I might look at a second chapter, what do people think?_

_CASTLE CASTLE CASTLE _

Castle watched as Beckett pulled herself up off the ground. He had almost reached his hand out to help her up but knew that she would have just waved it away and probably been in a bad mood with him for the rest of the day too. He cast a glance at Esposito who looked sideways at Lanie. She looked worried. As worried as Castle felt.

As Beckett moved away heading for her car, Castle looked at Esposito.

"I know bro, I know." Castle simply nodded and turned to follow his partner. Esposito turned to Lanie.

"She going to be ok do you think?"

"I hope so." Lanie said quickly, not wanting to stay in discussion for too long with her ex. Esposito took a deep breath.

"I hope so too. But what do you THINK?" he asked again, trying to communicate in his irritated tone that he was more worried about Beckett at this moment than he was about their differences. Lanie turned and looked at him, her eyes softening.

"I can't see how she will be," she admitted slowly, "I think her best hope is that Castle will keep her grounded, keep an eye on her."

Esposito nodded. That was his thinking too. He just hoped She wouldn't push Castle away.

CASTLE CASTLE. CASTLE

"Hey, Beckett. Wait up," Castle called as he jogged after her back to the car. she smirked to herself as she heard and felt him attach himself to her shoulder, to her side.

"Castle, I'm fine. We have a sniper, I think we're all a little jumpy." She grimaced to herself. That was lame, a lame, lame response to a question he hadn't even asked. But now she had answered so he knew that it was bugging her, knew that it was something she would try not to let bother her but wasn't confident that she could succeed.

"Beckett, it's ok for you to be cautious of this. It's also ok for you to step away if you think it's getting on top of you." he added firmly. He wanted her to understand that for it was the most important thing he was going to say to her. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. Castle gulped but he didn't step back. She took a deep breath.

"Castle, I need you to understand this - I'm fine, ok? You don't need to babysit me, you don't need to avoid using words like 'sniper' or anything like that. I'm a cop and I'm doing my job." she said sharply. Castle nodded.

"Is it your job to duck and cover every time a siren goes off?" he asked and she shook her head.

"Castle, if all you're going to do is try to piss me off with petty comments like that then go home. I don't need my every move being scrutinised by you right now, we need to catch this guy." She looked at him with what she thought was a steely glare but Castle saw the real emotion on her face. Her eyes were pleading with him to leave it alone, the quirk in the corner of her lip showed that he was uncomfortable with the level of attention being paid to her and the subsequent taking of her bottom lip between her teeth said 'help me'. But she didn't know that she was saying that yet ad until she did, Castle knew he could do just one thing. Be her partner.

"Let's go." he said and she smiled gratefully at him.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE.

Beckett stayed in the precinct all that night, running theory in her head, investigating past similar cases, researching cases from other states that had the same pattern. Eventually she crashed out, her head on the desk and that was exactly the way Captain Gates found her the following morning.

Beckett became aware of someone calling her name as she stirred from her sleep.

"Oh go away Castle..." she groaned as she flexed her back, her face pushing further onto the desk.

"Detective Beckett!" Gates barked and Beckett's head shot up, confused and sleepy. Se apologised for her drowsiness and began to explain that she had fallen asleep while running some ideas the previous night. Gates listened but didn't comment.

"Detective, I appreciate that you want to catch this guy, especially given your own experience of this nature...but a sleepwalking detective is not what I want on my staff at the moment. Understood?" With that, Gates brushed past and into her office leaving Beckett to make her way to the kitchen for coffee. She was just about to engage in a fight with what she maintained was an over complicated coffee machine when a takeaway cup, large, appeared under her nose. She closed her eyes and let the scent waft up her nose before taking the cup, saying "You are a wonderful man."

She turned around to see the smirk on his face.

"Now I know you didn't get much sleep last night." he joked, taking a sip from his own mug. She shook her head and arched her back to ease the cracks out of it.

"No, I didn't." she said honestly. He sighed.

"Kate," he started. The more he used her name, the more she melted a little inside. "You need to look after yourself during this case, you know that right? Get some sleep, eat properly. If you don't do that I'm going to have to force-feed you buckets of Alexis' meatloaf." He joked but in a way that told he was deadly serious. She nodded.

"I know Castle, Gates just gave me the same warning." He nodded and together they headed out into the bull ring, ready to get to work.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE.

Things went from bad to worse that day. Another body dropped and this time, Beckett was very subdued. Castle asked most of the questions of Lanie and Espo and Ryan while Beckett seemed to be watching everything around her, paranoid, Castle noted.

As they were turning to leave, Castle hung back, grabbing Esposito who was unimpressed with the pestering.

"There's nothing I can do man, I can't get through to her."

"She shouldn't be on this case." Castle exclaimed and Espo nodded.

"I know. But you figure out how to get her to stop." At the sound of a patrol cop's voice he walked away, leaving Castle with his worries, and the beginnings of a plan.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE.

The rest of that afternoon passed without incident in the bullpen. Beckett didn't discuss what had happened either that or the previous day and Castle didn't push her. If he had, it would have made what he was about to all the more obvious and suspicious. Finally, as he knew she would, Beckett stood up.

"I'm going to get coffee. Proper coffee, that I don't have to learn physics to make." she joked. be nodded and asked her to pick up one for him. She agreed and headed for the elevator. As soon as the door closed, he was on his feet and while he would literally rather go to the North Pole in a speedo, he knocked on Captain Gates' door. He waited for her response before sticking his head in the door.

"Captain Gates, may I have a word please?" She frowned up at him but her curiosity must have gotten the better of her because she ushered him inside.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE.

Castle was safely back in his seat when Beckett returned with their coffees. She handed his to him before turning to look at their murder board and rehashing what they already knew. Castle added a few helpful comments here and there but nothing that might prove as a break.

At 5:15, Gates came out.

"Beckett, go home now."

"With all due respect sir..."

"With all due nothing. Go home, eat and sleep or I'll remove you from the case altogether and I'm not even close to joking about that."

Beckett looked at Castle who raised an eyebrow but nodded his head in agreement. Gates didn't miss that little exchange. Beckett sighed and stood up, grabbing her jacket and slipping past the captain without a word to anyone. Gates turned to him.

"Is she ok?" she asked him and he shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"Keep an eye on her." she said before wheeling around and going back into her office. As she left, it struck Castle that it had been the first time woman had ever been civil to him. She must have been really worried about Beckett.

CASTLE CASTLE CASTLE

Castle sighed as he dropped his keys on the breakfast counter. Alexis and Martha were sitting in the living room, watching some cheesy afternoon soap. Castle smiled.

"Temptation Lane? Mother, I thought we agreed not to scar Alexis anymore than she already is." he joked as he leaned down to kiss his daughter on the head.

"You forget darling, she watches all of your TV interviews." Martha replied quickly and he smirked. He never doubted where he managed to get his trademark wit from. His mother definitely passed that trait on.

He plonked down in the seat next to his daughter, tired and worried, which must have translated on his face because the next thing his mother said was, "Is Beckett ok?" He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. This case is getting to her, she's nervous and jumpy..."

"She was shot Darling, this one is bound to hit a nerve..."

"But it's different to that. It's not like her first case back, she's just, I don't know, helpless or something..." He shook his head. He wasn't even thinking about the case on this one, the only thing that crossed his mind was his worry for her.

"No offence Dad but...how stupid are you?"

He looked at her pointedly.

"What do you mean?"

His daughter frowned at him.

"You should go over to her. Make sure she's ok, you'll just mope around here and worry all night if not." Castle looked at her and then at his mother.

"My daughter is wise beyond her years." he said and his mother nodded.

"And yours." Castle added which his mother shrugged at. She was used to the wisecracks about her inability to act her age. After all where was the fun in acting your age? Her son knew that as well as she did. But she had noticed a definite change in him since he'd started working with the Twelfth. And Beckett.

Castle stood, breaking his mother's train of thought, pulling his jacket back on.

"I'll be back..." he broke off and his mother raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded. He understood that look. It was the look that said, 'I raised a good son and he's not going to leave a girl grieving on her own'. He nodded, kissed Alexis again, grabbed his keys and left.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE.

Beckett was sitting beside the cupboard, gun in hand, arm bleeding, tears streaming down her face. Her breath was coming in ragged gasps, she was closer to hyperventilating. The low knock on the door startled her even more. The silence that followed made her wonder if she'd imagined it. Any self-doubt was extinguished when she heard the voice cutting through the silence. His voice. It made her smile momentarily. It wasn't going to be anyone else's voice, she knew that. Everyone else knew to leave her to her own devices, to let her work through her issues herself. But not Castle. She bit back a slight sob as the thought went through her head that out of everyone she knew, not to criticise anyone in the precinct, but he was the one she knew she could rely on, the one that would be there no matter what, the one who, to use a pop culture reference, would be standing at the top of the escalator when it slowly carried her to the top. Or the bottom.

But she couldn't see him now. Or, rather he couldn't see her. Not like this.

"Castle, go home. I'm fine." she called out weakly.

"The hell you are. Just took you five minutes to answer me." The sound of a key twisting in the door sunk her heart. She couldn't even bring herself to try standing up or making herself respectable. He already knew what he'd find, that she was sure of.

The door opened and a thin sliver of light cast through the apartment. She heard the creak of the floorboard just inside her door and braced herself.

"Kate?" he said as he flicked the light switch. Beckett squinted, her eyes taking a minute to adjust after the darkness. When she did, she turned to see him rushing over to her. He stopped at the sight of the broken glass then the blood on her arm.

"Kate...?" the shock in his voice resonated around the room. The tears welled in her eyes.

"It's not...I fell..." she tried to explain through a couple of wrenching sobs. As she let the tears fall, she suddenly let herself being enveloped in his arms. He caught her tightly, her hair under his nose. He shushed her and lightly rocked her as she let herself sob into his chest, blood from her arm coating onto the light blue shirt that he wore.

After a while, he felt her breathing level out and he wondered if she was asleep. He pulled back a little to glance down at her. Her eyes were wide open but subdued and it suddenly occurred to him that her arm was still bleeding.

"Shit! Kate come on, we've got to see to your arm before you lose anymore blood." He slowly stood, bundling her up in his arms and guiding her slowly into her bathroom. He sat her down on the bathtub as he pushed through her medicine cabinet looking for gauze, bandage and antiseptic. Finding a clean towel in the linen closet. He wet the edge of it and kneeled down in front of her, gently cleaning away the crusted blood. She hissed as the water hit her and he grimaced at the sound.

"Sorry," he said, "It's going to sting a bit. Squeeze my shoulder if you want to but, you know, try not to dislocate it." He glanced up to see the thin smile cross her face at his remark and he felt a little better that he had managed to cut through the facade of her torment.

Her hand gripped his shoulder as he started to clean the cut again and as he continued he felt her fingers relax their grasp. Slowly, she was regaining her composure. He doused the cut in antiseptic which caused her to squeeze his shoulder hard again, before bandaging it up for her.

He remained kneeling in front of her, his hands on her knees to help him balance. She bit her lip, watching the emotions play across his face. They stayed like that for what must have been a quarter of an hour. Finally, Kate bowed her head and whispered, "Thank you Rick." He swallowed at her use of his first name and squeezed her knee reassuringly.

"Kate, you should come stay with me. For a few days, until the case is over."

She shook her head and began to protest but Castle held his hand up to her.

"Kate, you're not ok. But what you can't seem to realise is that it's ok to not be ok. You have people around you that you can turn to. You have people who lo...care about you, don't shut them out. You won't get through this if you do. And I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to be ok." He took a deep breath, waiting for her to tell him to get lost but instead, surprisingly, she nodded, standing up, grabbing his hands as he pulled himself to his feet with her.

They stood, hands clasped for a minute before Beckett broke the silence. She released her hand from his, pawing at his shirt where her blood had stained it. He closed his jacket over it, smiling - don't worry about it. As she followed him back into the living room, she shook her head.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you Castle." Castle. The walls were back up.

"Oh I'm sure you pissed somebody off somewhere along the way." he joked and she chuckled. He smiled at that. It was good to hear her laugh.

CASTLE. CASTLE. CASTLE 


End file.
